Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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