I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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