i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
