bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
