New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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