My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
