Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
