Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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