please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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