I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
