mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
