We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
