I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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