i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize