I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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