Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
