seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Floor bacon is actually really good
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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