So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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