is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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