Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
