How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
