i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
