We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
