You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
