she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize