...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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