Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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