Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This can only be settled by a dance off.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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