you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
if only i could text you this smell
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
