she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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