oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
