Sry I called you an 8
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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