Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
