Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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