moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I need a burrito and a hug.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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