now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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