Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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