the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
