i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
