google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
