Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dicks are not precious.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
