on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize