I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
