He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
