idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize