i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
