i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
it glows. i had to have it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
