My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize