Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
