She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He kissed a someone with a penis
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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