"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
