She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
