i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
