i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
