New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
