Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
