Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
