her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
