You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
