if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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