You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
