from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
