Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
