I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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